I’m drawn to moments and situations that are somewhat ordinary but have a particular atmosphere, feeling and tenderness. My practice involves drawing, writing and painting to explore the dreamlike and emotive aspects of such moments. The view from a train window as the landscape whooshes past, a pair of feet immersed in swirls of water, the horizon framed between the nape of someone’s neck and their pony tail. I’m interested in repetition. I might paint the same scene twice, but just a few seconds has passed between them. I’m always zooming in and out of scenes in my imagination, and playing with cropping and scale to create a sense of ambiguity within the paintings. 

 

Because of the thoughts it evokes around perspective and framing, the train window has become a metaphor for how I’m thinking about painting more generally. There is a dreamlike quality to the experience of looking out of a train window. As we move through the landscape on a train, we are presented with views and perspectives beyond our control, framed by the train window. We see trees in the distance and seconds later, close up. Different crops and compositions flash by like distant memories that make an appearance when we least expect it. Falling asleep against the train window, we dream. 

 

Before painting, a period of drawing is crucial to my process. I use charcoal. Because the medium is so malleable it has the ability to keep up with thought, connections and imagination. It allows me to quickly fill my studio with images so that I can visualise lots of ideas at once. Then narratives can be drawn from them and connections made between them.

 

In my paintings I often return to the motif of the blushing cheek to explore ideas of heightened sensitivity, emotional vulnerability and embarrassment. Shades of pink and red are ever-present on my palette. I’m interested in the psychology of the blush and its relationship with the practice of painting itself – both painting and blushing being complicated indications of feeling. While one is voluntary and the other not, I see both painting and blushing as strange and muddled forms of expression and think of each painting as a sort of blush. Thinking about what causes a blush, and therefore such feelings as shame and embarrassment, allows me to explore how dominant socio-cultural structures invite shame, if not demand it, by implying distinctions of worth and agency and so on.

 

The spaces I depict in my paintings often have an unreal or cinematic quality. Exploring the translucent qualities of oil paint, layering techniques, and glazing is integral to my process, and in particular the representation of storytelling, recollection and blushing. I’m interested in the act of looking and the different layers we bring to the experience of looking – memory, feeling, identity. By experimenting with form and technique, I strive to get closer to the emotional core of the moments at the heart of my paintings.